How to fix college football

This week was the college football final. Townies like football. I like football too, although watching it gives me the same feeling as swiping a mini shampoo from the Hilton, eating veal, and listening to Ryan Adams.

Still, I would be far more willing to tolerate the exploiting and concussing if the matches were more competitive. The only drama in most games is whether some elite program like Auburn is going to cover their 48.5 point spread against some comically overmatched team like Samford. Do we really need to see Alabama beat Western Carolina 66-3, Ohio State beat Florida A&M 77-0, or Georgia Tech beat Cumberland 222-0 (to be fair, this game was played in 1916).

I have a solution. Divide up FBS and FCS teams into much smaller divisions with equally matched teams. To keep things interesting, the NCAA could mimic European soccer leagues by moving teams up or down divisions, depending on how well, or poorly, they play.

Here’s how it would work. Each division would include 28 teams split into four regions: northeast, southeast, northwest, and southwest. The best 28 teams would play in Division A, teams 29-56 would play in division B, teams 57-84 would play in division C, and so on. Teams would play 13 regular season games against the other teams in their region as well as the teams in the adjacent region. That is, the northeast teams would play the southeast teams and the northwest teams would play the southwest teams. Undefeated seasons would become as rare as two-loss playoff teams are in the current system, and a two-loss season would often be strong enough to make the playoffs. Wouldn’t it be more fun to watch Clemson play LSU, Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State, Penn State, and Michigan than Charlotte and Wofford?

Playoffs would be more fun too. The team with the best record in the northeast would play the team with the best record in the southeast; the best in the northwest would square off against the best in the southwest. The winners would advance to the finals. Additionally, the finalists in divisions B, C, D, etc. would be promoted to a better division for the next season. In 2019, this would have allowed teams like Minnesota and Baylor to move to a better division. The teams with the worst record in each region would similarly square off with the losers relegated to a suckier division. Sorry Michigan State and Miami.

Here’s how I would rank teams in Divisions A and B to start 2020.

DIVISION A

Southeast Region A

1. LSU

2. Clemson

3. Georgia

4. Alabama

5. Florida

6. Auburn

7. Memphis

Northeast Region A

1. Ohio State

2. Penn State

3. Minnesota

4. Wisconsin

5. Notre Dame

6. Michigan

7. Cincinnati

Southwest Region A

1. Oklahoma

2. Baylor

3. Texas A&M

4. Texas

5. University of Southern California

6. Oklahoma State

7. Kansas State

Northwest Region A

1. Oregon

2. Utah

3. Iowa

4. Boise State

5. Air Force

6. Washington

7. Iowa State

DIVISION B

Southeast Region B

1. Appalachian State

2. University of Central Florida

3. Florida Atlantic

4. Virginia

5. Virginia Tech

6. Wake Forest

7. Tennessee

Northeast Region B

1. Navy

2. Indiana

3. Kentucky

4. Louisville

5. Pitt

6. Temple

7. Michigan State

Southwest Region B

1. San Diego State

2. Arizona State

3. California

4. SMU

5. Hawaii

6. Missouri

7. TCU

Northwest Region B

1. North Dakota State

2. BYU

3. Utah State

4. Washington State

5. Illinois

6. Wyoming

7. Colorado